The Amazing Race Recap on S26E8

SPOILERS

• Did they film Tremors in Namibia? *Googles. Nope. Turns out, California. It looks very similar.
• Wowzers! Matt’s pants are tight!
• 6.47am-8.12am difference from first and last teams leaving the mat.
• Laura and Tyler are the only team who have yet to win a leg.
• I wonder if Swakopmund is Australia’s equivalent to Hahndorf? I should go there one day. Germans are my people.
• Hayley hates going down the rocks …
• I always think Jelani is Jenny’s name and then I can’t think of what the guy’s name is. Must remember; Jelani is a man.
• Rochelle is changed by the whole TAR experience. This is why I love the show so much and this is why I would love to do all the things they do. More on this at a later date.
• Don’t trust the black guy at the front of the store! He just wants to get screen time! Did you see how he was there for a very long time? Who just hangs out out the front of a store? I believe that’s called loitering. Isn’t that what the duo from Little Shop of Horrors were accused of? I sense a theme here. You’ll see months from now when a dweeby little shop assistant starts feeding his Audrey II blood that that little store in Swakopmund will make the papers.
• I’m surprised that everyone found the clue in the newspaper. There’s usually at least one idiotic team – anyone remember the ‘candelabra’ incident from seasons past? I’m not going to mention the ‘aardvark’ because I love Boston Rob too much. Oh. Also the Gnome! And I mean GGGGGnome!
• Ooh skydiving! Oh. No. Just have to find the box dropped in the desert. Not nearly as much fun. I thought there might be a twist with this roadblock where the one who says they’ll do it has to find the box while the other team member is the one to go up in the plane. I was wrong, of course. But at least I knew they’d be a twist.
• I love the travelocity roaming gnome! I should post a photo of my mini gnome one day. I got him on ebay if anyone is looking to buy one themselves. I have no regrets.
• “That’s …. not a person” No Blair. It’s a suitcase.
• Laura compares finding a suitcase to finding a “needle in a haystack” Somehow I think the needle would be harder to find. Someone should test this theory one day. Where does one find a haystack these days?
• Blair just wanted to make Hayley happy by letting her skydive but “now she’s running” which will make her very unhappy. The last thing anyone wants is to see Hayley unhappy again. Pray for Mojo I mean Blair.
• Jenny and Jelani has a nail! Eh. I mean in their tire.
• Hayley’s found a plastic bag! How tempting would it be to keep said bag and get “I went to South Africa and all I got was this lousy plastic bag” printed on it. Come on, you’ve got to admit that’s kind of PUNny?!
• The desert looks like the one from Holes. Which by the way, was also filmed in California. Not sure if it’s anywhere near the Tremors filming location but still, there’s a neat fact for you. You learn something new every day. Oh look, there’s Shia LeBeouf! Wait no, it’s just a donkey. My bad. *I actually like Shia. Sorry for the joke.
• Blair kissed the gnome! That’s as much action as he is going to get/want on that race. His blind date is Hayley. You know? You follow me? Yeah. That.
• Wow Jelani is quick! Mike is slow. and lost.
• Aly, “here’s the speed bump … why is there children?”
• OMG I want to make a plane out of a soda can! They look so damn cool! I actually have a chair made out of a bottle top and some wire. It’s sitting beside my computer right now as I write this in fact. It was given to me by the owner of a Chinese restaurant near my house when he saw me admiring it.
• What’s with the tight pants in this episode? I’ve seen more ass this episode than … you know what, never mind.
• First ‘thanks captain obvious’ moment of tonight’s episode goes to Phil for his quote – “No short supply of this stuff ‘sand'” PS Phil I love you!
• Guest foreman is the GNOME! Ah! So cute!
• Detour is Play; climb up the hill with a pair of skiis on then once you get to the top remove said skiis and go down on a board. or Work; attached tires to your car and smooth out the road.
• Hayley is “crushing [Blair’s] dreams” of sand skiing. Way to be a team player. He’ll let you skydive but you won’t let him ski. For shame.
• Laura think Tyler is “so manly” when he’s moving the tires.
• “Difficult to get up” “This is so hard” Oh Ashley. Insert jokes here. ({}) teehee.
• Mike says the hardest thing he’s had to do the whole race has been ‘running’ okay okay so he didn’t say that but that’s kind of what he just did in the roadblock so …
• But now that Mike has displayed his love for Rochelle by ‘running’ she will now take the “next step in their relationship” ie. second base. ( • Y • ) yes! I kid. She meant meet her son.
• Oh no! Steve is going the wrong way! Aly likens this to “things have gone from bad to worse” Now THIS, Laura is what it’s like to find a needle in a haystack! Hey Steve, your eyes are for seeing not your compass. They’ve now really “put themselves in a pretty deep hole!”
• Term: “Leveling” A metaphor coined by Blair to describe Hayley’s personality.
• Ashley says Play was “not as much fun as [she] thought it’d be” but it was worth it just to see how beautiful the desert looked from the very top of the hill!
• Hayley gives Blair a pep talk and tells him what a great driver he’s been throughout the race! Oh wait, no. Sorry. This should read. “You haven’t been the best of drivers so you can understand I was a little concerned.” There’s no i in team, pep talk or the amazing race – but there’s one in driver, but I don’t know what that means …
• Jenny and Jelani use their express pass wisely so they can get to the u turn mat quicker – sadly it backfires, but it would have been smart if they would have arrived there first.
• So firstly, I thought it was strange that Laura and Tyler would u turn Aly and Steve because I thought everyone only wanted Jenny and Jelani out and if this was the case then Laura and Tyler should have u turned Matt and Ashley because they knew that they had already been to the u turn mat making it impossible for anyone else to be u turned as Matt and Ashley had already u turned Jenny and Jelani. This, of course, was until the end of the episode where Aly says that everyone wanted them out.
• “Just for fun; bring an animal!” says Phil! What you got against zebras, Willis? I mean, Phil!
• Mike’s got the “strongest girl on this entire race” and Jelani can barely lift a tire …
• Mike thinks that Jenny just pushes Jelani around. “Poor Jelani,” Mike expresses.
• “I’m walking a zebra right now. This is so cool,” says Tyler, until Nora the Zebra kicks him. Let’s take a moment to appreciate that.
• But it does win he and Laura a trip to Queenstown, New Zealand, and that ain’t bad. Even if it has taken them eight legs to win a leg.
• Second and final ‘thanks captain obvious’ moment of tonight’s episode goes to Blair for his quote – “Dave’s a male”
• That guy working at the tire detour is wearing a wickedly cool hat. I like.
• Jenny feels like she’s driving in a painting. Umm okay. And then she wants to ride a camel. But doesn’t.
• Oh. Mike came to “if that was a little lower” losing the ability to having babies. Such a shame because his next tattoo could have been “I went on The Amazing Race and all I got was the inability to have children anymore” tattooed on his balls. This of course would only happen in he doesn’t win the million .. also if he hadn’t already won some prizes …
• Jenny compares walking a camel to “walking [my] Dad” to the pit stop. Dad is so proud.
• Poor Aly and Steve. It’s really hard to not come last during a leg when you not only start last but have to deal with a speed bump and a u turn when there’s not an opportunity for an even playing field – ie all catch up at the airport and take the same flight. It’s almost unfair, I think, to have the u turn after a non-elimination leg. The odds were always going to be against them. Even without all the mistakes they made, I don’t think they would have been able to not come last this leg.

Until next week!