Celebrity Apprentice Recap on S14E14 – aka the finale!

PMs: and the finalists are ...
The Task: To produce a commercial for Universal Orlando Resort.

The Task:

• Ah, Kevin, he’s like a modern day Moses parting the red sea of people.
• Lorenzo’s notes on Geraldo being like a mild chill – a bit snappy. Brilliant. Then describing him as a pain in the arse (forgive me, I’m Australian) who is endearing though. Also brilliant.
• Kevin and Leeza manage to get ahead of schedule. That’s no mean feat for a finale.
• Kevin says Leeza is ‘classy, confident and knows how to treat people, which is important’. I’m predicting her win right now.
• One cannot say the same for Geraldo as he is oh so not humble in calling himself an icon. Perhaps he is. Perhaps he isn’t. I’d never heard of him before. Just saying.
• Who is this Tony Orlando you speak of? His story was really heartfelt and touching and that should be mentioned. Ian was right that “Geraldo really is a great guy” and his crying only showed his humanity.
• Kevin bringing Leeza churros. How sweet. Ian, on the other hand, brings the insults. Ian, always one to support the team *scoff* says that he wouldn’t have done the commercial at all like Geraldo’s. He would have gone with a more family-orientated theme. And yes, this would be true, and yes it would be better but hey, remember what Puddy said, support the team. It’s a Seinfeld thing …

• Leeza says her commercial is positive, upbeat and will make people want to go there. I guess we shall see …
• Cue the drums! Donald Trump has arrived in da house! Er, I mean to the presentation.
• Ian reverts to his five year old self when Optimist Prime and Bumblebee enter the room. Vivica turns into a 12 year old when she finds her “female crush” Olivia Newton-John.
• Geraldo forgets Ian’s name. “How long have we been working together, Geraldo?” Hey, Ian, back off. Maybe he’s nervous … Ian then calls Geraldo “Geraldildo” – teehee dildo.
• I would describe everyone’s face during Geraldo’s presentation as “blank stare/wtf” (cue Damian Cowell’s Disco Machine – Google it) Even Leeza thinks it’s too Geraldo-centric. I think the miss during the commercial is the kid saying to the parent, “We missed you. Sorry you didn’t have any fun” Isn’t the park for adults too? ….
• I’d never heard of Tony Orlando or the song Tiny Yellow Ribbon. I can’t know for sure but it looked like Don Jr had never heard of it either … at least Ivanka smiled. And Bumblebee’s dancing was so adorable. And Donald, doing all he can to reinforce the stereotype that white people cannot dance. Or is that jump? … hmm.
• Lorenzo likes Geraldo’s commercial but he wouldn’t say it’s better though (although, to be fair, he didn’t say that it wasn’t better either – so take that either way)
• If I was judging Geraldo’s “Find your inner hero” vs Leeza’s “where fun is your only agenda” – Leeza wins, hands down. Brandi also hits the nail on the head that Leeza’s charity is all about memories and that’s exactly what the task is – so it all tied together perfectly. Also seems like a sign that she’s got this in the bag. I’ve used too many analogies this post. It sickens me. The hardest thing was trying to figure out how to spell analogies. Truthful.

The Boardroom:

• Vivica’s purple sequin dress is slamming! I hope I look that hot in sequins at her age. Hell, I couldn’t even pull that off at my age!
• Ian – “Please call me Ian (pronounced EE-an instead of the proper EYE-an) because it’s just easier” That is my idea of comedy.
• I kind of felt like when Donald asked Ian if Geraldo should lose because he couldn’t get his name write in the executives, when he said he should “absolutely not lose for that” he was kind of insinuating that he should lose for other reasons though.
• I think Ian basically compared Geraldo to a cockroach … but Geraldo definitely did “survive and strive” Ivanka seems on team Leeza because she brought up how Geraldo was in the hot seat so many times but was never fired, even though sometimes his ideas did lose for the team.
• That’s interesting that Donald thought that Kevin could have been a finalist if not for his one little mistake. You and me both Donald. Kevin has learnt that “friends are not your friends in the boardroom” Please bring him back for All Stars.
• It’s interesting that the executives wanted more “celebrity” in the commercial. There does seem a lot more negatives towards team Leeza than team Geraldo right now. I still think Leeza is the clear winner.
• Wow. Wow. Wow. Leeza raised $324k. Geraldo raised $146. She killed it! Killed. It. Total raised over the whole series, in comparison (before the winner announcement) Leeza almost $500k. Geraldo close to $700k. Although it does make sense when Geraldo said that his friends were so squeezed from the first two challenges and you “cant go back to the same lemon” That’s a good analogy.

The Live Finale:

• Ooh 4 degrees in New York. It looks so pretty! I wonder when this is filmed because Australia is obviously so far behind as right now it’s Autumn/Fall, so it would be their Spring. I’m SO shocked I didn’t see any spoilers before the finale. Although, the worst thing about watching the show has been the commercials for The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Ugh. What garbage!
• Donald Trump enters like a prize on The Price is Right. … “you could win a real life Donald Trump!”
• Were the whole audience told to wear only red, grey, black and/or white? Did anyone else notice that? Even Donald and Ivanka have stuck to the dress code. Eric and Don Jr though, for shame! But why does Eric get shafted to the crowd? Seems a little unfair. Methinks big Don is playing favourites …
• Wow nearly 15 million dollars raised. That’s amazing!
• The crowd cheered more when Leeza’s name was mentioned over Geraldo’s. Just saying!
• You can’t fault Geraldo. He did stick his neat out numerous times for the team. Although ‘have courage kids, the dragon is real’ sounds very erotic.
• Did Jamie steal Terrell’s compliment? Where are Shawn and Sig? Why no mention of Shawn and Sig’s absence? I am so confused!
• Gilbert jokes that he showed up for the presentation just for the free food.
• No thanks Kenya, I don’t feel like calling you … I’m actually surprised that she wasn’t booed when she came out on stage to be honest.
• Donald loves Keshia’s name so much that not only does he get it wrong twice he then cuts her off. That’s love. He didn’t even cut Kate off for once. Miracle.
• Is this Miss Universe Donald Trump’s potential fourth wife? Okay, that’s mean and uncalled for. But seriously, she’s taking up air time why?
• Someone should have made a tally as to how many times Donald Trump has said that there’s no losers . Seriously.
• Johnny’s hair looks amazing! Lorenzo is looking pretty damn fine too. Loving the facial hair!
• The “Has Anyone Found Vivica’s Phone?” sign. Genius!
• Does the world really need a Sharknado 3? Really?
• Ian says the game was played more viciously by the women – sitting nervously between Vivica and Kenya. I feel like this was a deliberate move by the producers. Ian looks even more nervous when Vivica says “when she starts with her hands, you can believe that she’s lying” about Kenya when asked about the stolen phone. The mimicking was classic!
• Although that ^ was over shadowed by Gilbert saying that he gave up because he’s “going through menopause” It was my favourite moment of the season. Hilarious. Zing.
• I’m surprised that Donald didn’t think that Leeza would make it to the finale. I thought it was quite obvious – and the contestants also seemed to think it was quite obvious. It really surprised me. I want to live by this quote from Leeza – “Never underestimate a women with passion who knows what she wants.” I’m going to put that up as a post it note somewhere in my house – perhaps my fridge – for inspiration.
• Brandi saying she loves Geraldo because they never had to work together. Funny. Kevin, Leeza, Johnny, Jamie, Vivica are on team Leeza with Kenya and Kate are on team Geraldo to take out the win. Kevin says that Leeza’s wins speaks for themselves. Leeza: 8 wins to 3 loses. Geraldo: 4 wins to 7 loses. For some reason Donald forgets to ask Lorenzo who he thinks deserves to win the title. Gilbert makes a crack and says that “I think Geraldo’s great – he’ll tell you himself”.
• Leeza’s victory is attributed to her ability to “cut out the crazy and cut through the drama and lead” This is a good note to anyone playing the game next season.
• The Twitter questions seemed pointless to me – perhaps it was to give Ivanka some extra screen time – but the best thing I got from it was Ian’s quote how “successful people fall until they succeed” – This is another quote for my fridge.
• Vivica stating that she’s a realist and knew that Geraldo and Leeza deserved to be in the finale over her. She’s “not ashamed to sit there” in the contestant seats.
• I didn’t know that Melissa Rivers was so short (Google says about 5’2). How young did Don Jr and Donald look in the tribute to Joan Rivers?! Such a dramatic change in such a short amount of time. I’m sure Don Jr regrets that boy band hair style now!
• “High functioning”? – what does that ever mean, Geraldo?! Geraldo goes on a ramble of why he should win the title. Leeza, having just found out she won the final task, says that she’s smart, strategic and got Vortex out of their losing slump. Seriously, if Leeza doesn’t win this, I will eat my keyboard. I know a hat is more traditional, but I don’t have a hat on so I’d rather not threaten that. Also, I don’t really want to eat a hat …
• Wow. Geraldo already looks defeated and he doesn’t even know the outcome yet.
• And because Leeza “ruled with kindness and tremendous leadership” and was basically loved by all she played it, won the last task, raised more money in the finale and was overall the best played, Leeza wins the title of Celebrity Apprentice and the extra $250k. Well deserved.

Celebrity Apprentice I’m going to miss watching you each week! It’s been fun!